I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
