i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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