Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
