she looked like the before picture.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
