I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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