My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize