already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think your dad took our porno
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize