Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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