Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
