drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
