Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
