if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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