Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize