she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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