He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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