Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
A bitchslap is in order.
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