There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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