i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
