We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
