Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
