she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
