i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She has the best kind of daddy issues
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
