I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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