So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
