This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
