This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
