Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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