is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize