I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
