I hate your face
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
