remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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