I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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