how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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