he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
