Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
