I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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