it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize