She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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