shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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