woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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