chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Mom said you looked used
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
