I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
