this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she pinky promised me she was 18
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize