the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
