So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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