what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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