Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
