If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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