accomplished twins. life is a go
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize