just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
