Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize