If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm having to shit out rocks
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
