so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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