The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
