Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
