Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize