oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
