Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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