Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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