CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize