So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
