he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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