I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im holly from the hills drunk
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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