My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
