I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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