i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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