New invention idea: vibrating tampons
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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