Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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